How to get unstuck when you don’t know which step to take next

Something interesting happened last couple of months in my social environment that I would love to share it with you. Two of my expat friends decided to move back to their country of origin. They have been happily living in Alanya for many years. But they came to a point where they could feel that this chapter had ended. And they were so much looking forward to start living in their old hometown again. I also met two new friends. Both are mothers to young children, who moved here with their family to start a new life in Alanya. They are so excited to call this place their new home.

And it got me wondering what it is about this place that makes some people fall so in love with it and others run from it? And then it dawned on me that it’s never about the place, it about us. In fact, it’s about our very soul.

Have you ever felt so stuck in your life that you had absolutely no idea what to do next? Or maybe you are feeling this way right now. It seems like whatever way you turn you just can’t figure it out. In our mind we try to think of all the options we have and we consider all the pro’s and con’s of every single option. We try to calculate the risks. And we list all the reasons and excuses of why we should or shouldn’t take action. And what happens? We usually only get more stuck. And more frustrated. And more doubts.

Feel into your next steps

So what to do. Here’s a little hint that has always helped me in uncertain times. Don’t think about your next steps but feel  into them. Because the mind may not always know the answers and it can get totally confused. But the body is giving us all the right cues through our feelings. When faced with two options, always go with the one that makes you feel happy and alive. What excites you and what makes your heart sing. Go with that. It’s a cue and you can trust it. Don’t think about all the things that could go wrong or what others may say. Instead think about all the things that could go right and who you might inspire along the way.

No manipulating with feelings

As the ancient wisdom says: ‘we are not humans with a soul, but we are souls who are having a human experience.’ And the soul knows what it came here for and what it wants to experience. It wants to be nourished in a positive, life affirming way. And it speaks to us through our feelings in two ways: either it is jumping up and down with excitement or it is downright appalled by what we are doing.  When we experience feelings like stress, anxiety, heartbreak, sadness or a burnout, our soul is basically saying to us NO! NO! NO! GO BACK. TURN AROUND. THIS IS AWEFUL. It may sound like a silent whisper at first but if we keep ignoring it eventually it becomes a roar. On the other hand, when we feel excited, joyful, peaceful, in love, in flow with life, happy and light, it is our soul’s way of saying YES! YES! YES! I LOVE THIS! KEEP GOING DOWN THIS PATH! IT’S GOING TO BE AMAZING. You can trick your own mind by coming up with excuses and false reason but you cannot fool your soul. And you always feel what you feel, there’s no manipulating with feelings.

Go for the inner ‘Yes’

So if moving to Alanya and years later move back are both decisions where your soul was shouting YES! then congratulations if you find the courage to do so.  If opening a business one year, and deciding to do something completely different the next are both motivated by feelings of happiness and excitement, then you did the right thing. Don’t go for what may look good on the outside and what others approve. Go for the inner YES. Always. Life is yes. Life is pro experiment, pro adventure, pro creation. Take the time to see how you feel about things, rather than what you think about them, and follow one yes after the other. I promise you your journey will be wonderful and crazy and colorful and unique and valuable, just like you are. It will reflect your truest self, your great soul. And the beauty of it is that it will encourage others to do the same.


Katharina Lundgreen-Bayar lives in Alanya with her husband Bülent and son Ilyas. She’s a writer and for Hello Alanya she shares her thoughts and tells about what is keeping her busy in her daily life.

Want to learn more about the writer behind these blog posts? Read here our interview with Katharina Lundgreen-Bayar.

And follow her on Instagram: katharinalundgreenbayar




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